Thank You and You're Welcome

Over the last three years, I've gone from being the youngest lawyer in my office to being nearly the oldest. Working now with a younger crowd has made me realize that folks don’t say “thank you” as often as they used to. And when I thank co-workers for their help or for a job well done, it’s rare to hear “you’re welcome.” The common response I get is “no problem.” No problem? At the risk of sounding like an old curmudgeon, I don’t like “no problem.” It belittles my thanks. I’m thanking you because it was a problem … or could have been one without your help. Why even say “thanks” for something that’s “no problem” at all?

I had to laugh earlier this week when I read a sermon in which my dad complained about someone’s reaction to him saying “thank you.” I guess it’s true what they say: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Here’s what my father wrote on saying “thank you”:

“The service had come to an end, and I went to the back of the sanctuary to greet the worshipers as they filed out. Near the end of the line came the soloist of the morning, who had done quite a nice job that day. I told her so and thanked her warmly. As I spoke a look of horror came across her face, and she said, ‘Oh no, pastor! Don’t thank me. Give all the praise to God. It’s not me; He does it all!’”

“That’s not the first time I had received such a reaction when I thanked another Christian for doing something, nor would it be the last. It is common in some Christian circles to refuse to accept personal thanks. I've thought a lot about that reaction from the soloist and others, and while I understand the point they are making, it seems to me to grow out of a narrow and rigid way of thinking about our relationship with God – and an inadequate understanding of our personal and social needs as human beings.”

“It must be conceded that in … Paul’s letter to the Philippian Church, he couches his thanks to the Christians there as an act of thanks to God: ‘I thank my God,’ he writes, ‘ every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now[.]’ (Phil. 1:3-5 NIV) And yet, if Paul only wanted to thank God, why would he put it in this letter so that the Philippians would overhear him? I believe Paul understood the necessity of thanking others for their efforts and accomplishments.”

“Saying ‘thank you’ is a very important Christian grace for at least three reasons:

•  First, it satisfies the need that every person has to receive feedback concerning his efforts. There is nothing more draining than to work hard and faithfully day after day and seldom or never hear a word of appreciation. … Someone is bound to say, ‘As Christians we don’t serve in order to be praised by men, but just to please God.’ That is very true. But how does God express his pleasure to us? Doesn't God often choose to communicate through our brothers and sisters in the Body of Christ? It is good theology to assert that a genuine word of appreciation from a fellow Christian is also an expression of pleasure from God. We all need to hear the words, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.’ (Matt. 25:21)

•  Second, saying ‘thank you’ is a healthy expression of our inter-dependence with other people. … Our natural sinful tendency is to see ourselves in disproportion as the center of our own little universe, everything revolving around us. A heartfelt ‘thank you’ can readjust that whole skewed, self-centered way of looking at things, as we realize that we cannot take anyone for granted. Each person in our life is essential to us.

• Third – and most important – saying ‘thank you’ is an expression of our dependence upon God. (I believe this is what the soloist was trying to tell me that Sunday after the service, although I don’t like how she rules out our thanking one another.) The fact is that any good you and I do is the result of God’s direct or indirect action in us. And so, when I thank you for something, I am reminding both you and myself that it is in God that ‘we live and move and have our being.’ (Acts 17:28)"

So, as my dad put it, “thank-yous are in order often and all around.” I'll start by thanking you for your interest in this blog. Happy Thanksgiving, friends!

From: "On Saying 'Thank You'"
Scripture: Philippians 1:3-11